


Sudsy Surprise

by Talinor



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Mild Innuendos, Multi, listen: idk how to tag but this is.... Soft, non-sexual nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 01:58:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17572136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talinor/pseuds/Talinor
Summary: Today was perfect. After a long, hard-fought adventure, the Mighty Nein had earned a break. Today was the first day of their time off, and Jester was determined to make it as fun as possible.The only problem was, her definition of 'fun' was far different from both her boyfriends'. Both of them preferred calming, less chaotic forms of enjoyment. It took a little bit of roaming around town to see what would make them all happy, but she was confident in her choice. She led them there now with a pep in her step.





	Sudsy Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> this is self-indulgent as fuck but I won't apologize for it  
> I lov widojest, I lov clayleb, I lov the cotton candy clerics, so why not combine all three??  
> enjoy!!

Today was perfect. After a long, hard-fought adventure, the Mighty Nein had earned a break. Today was the first day of their time off, and Jester was determined to make it as fun as possible.

The only problem was, her definition of 'fun' was far different from both her boyfriends'. Both of them preferred calming, less chaotic forms of enjoyment. It took a little bit of roaming around town to see what would make them all happy, but she was confident in her choice. She led them there now with a pep in her step.

"Are we almost there?" Caduceus asked. "I'm not complaining about holding your hand, but I'm not too fond of the blindfolds."

"Don't worry, Caddy," she assured him with a light squeeze. "It won't be long now." It wasn't a lie: they were coming up on the building.

 _Blaubeere,_ Caleb's voice poured itself privately into her mind. _Is the bathhouse our destination?_

She whirled her head around to look at him. His blindfold was untouched, same as Cad's, but he was using the hand not in hers to point in her direction and hold something near his mouth. She couldn't see it, but she knew exactly what it was. In the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar little figure slink out of view behind them.

 _Cayyy-leeeb!_ she responded to the message, making sure to stuff as much scandal into her voice as she could. _Using Frumpkin to see's cheating!_ To nail in her point, her tail tapped against his leg. Not enough to harm, but a very light discipline.

 _My apologies, liebling._ She could hear the slight smile in his voice. He wasn't _that_ sorry.

Caduceus chuckled. "He can see where we're going, can't he?" She saw him raise a brow. "Frumpkin?"

"Yes," she answered. "How did you know?"

"Well, he hasn't spoken in a while," he explained casually. "He tends not to talk when he's focusing through Frumpkin." He smiled. "Plus you haven't stopped squeezing my hand."

Oh. She hadn't even noticed. Her grip loosened on his, an apology on her tongue, but he returned the squeeze.

"I didn't point it out because I didn't like it, dewdrop." was the only explanation he gave. It was more than enough for her.

They came upon the ornate doors to the bathhouse. They were pretty tall, but she still gave Caduceus a quick warning to watch his head. Just in case. He obeyed without hesitation, stooping down a couple of inches as the three of them entered the building.

The pretty tiefling woman she'd arranged her appointment with was still at the front desk. She took one look at Jester, smiled slightly, and marked something on her parchment. "Right on time," she said smoothly. "I'm guessing these are your companions." When Jester nodded, she marked two more things on her parchment. "Very well." She stood up and gestured through a blunt gilded fingernail for her to follow to a nearby door. "Your private room is ready for you, Miss Lavorre. Enjoy yourselves."

With a quick thank you to the front desk attendant, Jester led her boys to their final destination. She reached for Caduceus' blindfold first, him bending down to make the process of untying it easier for her. "Caleb already knows where we are, sooo..." She threw off his blindfold with a flourish. "Ta-da! Surprise!"

She was happy to see the room was decorated to her specifications. Marble vases were teeming with sweet-smelling pink, blue, and orange flowers. It went along surprisingly well with the sharpness of Caleb's favorite incense slowly burning in pots hanging above them. The large circular bath was teeming with light pink bubbles, with a jar of more bubble bath formula perched at the edge, just in case. Next to it were some pretty big unused bottles of shampoo and conditioner.

A little further back lay three soft-looking white bath robes, one noticeably bigger than the others. Next to one lay a small bag of unused incense for a certain someone. At least that part would still be a surprise.

"I..." To her joy, Caduceus struggled to speak. "I-I don't know what to say about this." He traded his dumbstruck expression for an admiring one. "Other than thank you, of course."

"It's no problem," she said, quickly unraveling the knot on Caleb's blindfold. "I wanted to treat you guys to something special."

Caleb blinked-- first to get his bearings, then in astonishment. "It's very appreciated," he said. "But... How much was all this?"

Not as much as he probably thought, but she simply smiled as she took off her boots. "Don't worry about it. This is relaxing time." She raised her brow. "Do either of you want some privacy," she couldn't help but sneak a little bit of mischief in. "Or maybe some help undressing?"

Caduceus looked slightly uncomfortable. Thankfully, he didn't let either of them wonder why for long. "No, it's just..." He looked at her earnestly. "This isn't, like.... a sex thing, is it?"

"Not if you don't want it to be," she said honestly. "I know you're not interested in that kind of thing." She started to work at the strings of her dress. "Plus, they kinda have a rule against having sex in the private rooms, so..."

"...So we'd need to be extra discreet." Caleb said it so casually while folding his scarf, she almost didn't believe he'd said it all. Almost.

She let out a fake gasp. _"Caleb!"_ she giggled. "You're in a naughty mood today, aren't you?" He shrugged noncommittally, but she could see the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I might have to punish you later. We'll see how it goes."

It didn't take long for all of them to get into their birthday suits. Cad's clothes didn't have any too-tight knots, so he didn't need that much help. Caleb's nimble fingers quickly unraveled the knots she couldn't quite reach. It took a bit of convincing, but both Jester and Caduceus worked together to gingerly unwrap the bandages around Caleb's arms. Those scars still broke her heart to look at.

As she'd asked, the water was still at a comfortable level of warmth. A dipped toe gave way to one leg, then two, then her entire body with a splash. Through the murky pink-tinted waters, she could see both of her companions enter the water less enthusiastically. She swam the tiny distance towards the legs she recognized as her favorite wizard's and...

 _"Boo!"_ She emerged from the water in a controlled explosion of water, grabbing just below his knee in the same instant. She couldn't keep her laughter in at how Caleb jumped at the sudden scare.

"Scheisse," he moved his now dripping wet bangs away from his face. "I thought this trip was for relaxation?"

"It is," Jester explained. "That was just payback for a _certain someone,"_ she let go of his leg to boop the tip of his nose. "ruining the surprise I set up for him. Plus, it's a _bath._ Don't be afraid to get your hair wet."

Caduceus lifted his clingy hair away from his face with one hand. Even then, some of it was still reaching. "I'm guessing that's why you got me, too?"

"Right on the nose, Deucey." She slid next to him on the slim seating and eyed his lush expanse of hair. "Have you ever braided your hair?"

He shot her a questioning look. "What's a braid?"

Jester gasped at the opportunity before her. She couldn't let it go to waste. She grabbed his arm with one hand and reached for the shampoo with the other. "Do you mind if I...?"

He nodded, and she almost missed his fond smile when she squealed in delight. Almost. 

He moved off the seat, and she was even more delighted to see he was just tall enough for his head to stay above water while sitting at the bottom. She uncapped the bottle, poured a bit into her hand, then rubbed it between her hands. It made her hands smell like jasmine. She shared that with Caduceus as she worked gently at his roots. She couldn't contain her grin as he unconsciously leaned his head back against her thigh at the touch.

His eyes fluttered to a close, but opened again after a brief moment. "Caleb, sunshine," he said. "Do you want me to do something for you, or...?"

Caleb smiled. "I'm fine where I am, thank you." A hint of sadness tried to hide itself beneath the waves of his crystal blue eyes. The two clerics shared a look. Neither of them needed Message to know what the other was thinking.

His hair now sufficiently shampooed-up, Caduceus moved to his side. Jester moved to the other. "You know," Cad started. "Just wanting to watch is perfectly fine, but..."

"But you're not fine," Jester finished for him softly, her hand probing at his fist. Hoping to be let in. "Are you?"

Caleb hesitated. Her hand kept trying to find his, gentle yet unrelenting. Caduceus' hand went for his shoulder. "You know you can tell us if something's bothering you, right?"

"We love you, Caleb." _Please let us in,_ was the unsaid plea hanging on her tongue. 

Finally, the silent tension in his body loosened. His hand opened up and accepted her embrace. He sighed. "It's just... you two reminded me of... them." was all he said before he leaned toward Caduceus, whose hands worked deliberately on the frayed knots in his shoulders. He didn't need to elaborate on who he meant. They knew all about the ghost that still haunted his mind. 

They couldn't change the past, but clerics were pretty damn good at dispelling ghosts. 

Caleb's eyes closed when she ran her hands through his hair, nails dragging lightly on his scalp. One arm reached for his coat, which was deliberately just close enough for him to reach. Without even opening his eyes, he found what he was looking for.

 _Danke schön, liebling._ His accent was a bit thicker now. Involuntarily, a chill raced up Jester's skin. She adored when his voice sounded like that, especially while he was speaking Zemnian. He knew that all too well.

She gave him a fond look. "You're welcome."

The hours she'd booked passed lazily, but she wouldn't trade it for the world. Whether it was making Cad a giant beard out of pink bubbles, illustrating Caleb's stories with little water shapes, or showing off how she looked in her custom fluffy robe. It was time well spent. She didn't need to ask either of her boys to see if they felt the same.

She already knew.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave a comment i wanna talk to other people who like this wonderful lil rarepair  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish   
> hmu if you want my discord


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